Dedicated to Onidajo

Recently, I got a disappointing news and I felt all the emotions that is usually associated with it. From anger to pain to sadness and everything in between. What stood out to me though in spite of everything I was feeling at that time was Hope. Hope - the expectation that something hoped for can or will happen. That is what keeps me going.

Too often we lose hope because of fear, because of disappointments, because it is not coming fast enough. We forget that adversity and trials sometimes prepare us for the future. They test our endurance in the hope, our faith in what is to come, our beliefs. Losing is easy, we all can do it but holding on to hope even after everything life throws at you is the hardest thing to do. Not losing hope is never easy but it is rewarding and helps keep us going through life's difficult days.

I was reading through something President Obama said with the underlying message of hope. He asks that we choose hope over fear. Fear makes us…

Words I Dare Not Forget

When night falls
And you're blanketed by that dark force
When the whole world seems gloomy
When the pain sets in

Joy is just around the corner
Darkness will be replaced
You lead yourself to get hurt
You are your biggest pain

Stop those worthless thoughts
You are wonderful,

You are the sun to someone's moon
The light in someone's darkness
The joy to their sadness
You are YOU

No one else can have that power
That smile
That look
That laugh
That warmth
That quirk
That voice

So when you think
It's all over
When you're sure
You've seen it all
Look ahead
Wait a minute
Look around you
Smell the roses
Hug your friends
Greet a stranger
Be yourself
You'll be surprised
That that joy
That radiance is in you
You are PRECIOUS...


This is Me

I am not as confident as people think I am. I am not as self reliant as people think I am. I am just a girl like any other, with hopes and fears and a desire to be loved. I used to be the girl who decorated the pillows with her tears, the girl so afraid to hope, she never tried. I wished I was never born. I felt inferior and unloved. I once cried so much I lost my voice but everyone just thought I was ill. You know how when you are quiet people just fill things in without asking you ( yeah that was me), I never explained things to people.  The way I felt at that time gave me the empathy I have today. It is why I strive to understand rather than judge others. Let me explain.

I was a girl who never quite felt beautiful. I was not even considered cute ( I mean you do not see anyone talking to me). I was the girl who was always buried in a book. The one who was treated as an outcast ( I was never privy to any class gist). I had friends alright, but I always felt just outside of their aff…

Submitting to Love

Ever wondered why people that are in love play silly games like race each other,  dance in the rain,  hose each other till they're soaking wet and still laugh while doing it?

Because I've always wondered if I can ever see myself doing crazy stuff like that with anyone, it's downright silly and embarrassing but I think I get it now.  When you're in love you are so incredibly happy that you don't care who knows. Nothing else matters to you but that one person and everything they mean to you.  It's not that you know that they won't hurt you or that they won't laugh at you because they will,  it's that you don't care.  The way they make you feel most of the time makes up for the downs,  they make you feel so so so happy that you just have to take that chance even if it'll last just for a minute, you're willing to feel that good.  You feel so happy,  you feel like a kid again and you trust them so much, you're willing to be that silly wi…


I know all about pain
The kind of pain that doesn't go away
The kind that holds on
And never leaves
The kind that leaves you holding your breath
Not sure you will ever breathe again

It happened the first time you left
The first time you walked out the door
And never came back
It was like lightening struck
And I was left waiting for the thunder
And was I right?

I was torn
Shattered like broken glass
Not quite complete again
It was like nails on a broken skin
Like a walk through fire
Not sure I will survive

So I look for you in every stranger
Find your laughter in every friend
But you are not coming back
Not today
Not ever

So here comes the hard part
I piece up the broken glass
Never quite whole again
Thunder is gone
The calm after the storm
I know I will be fine
But darling, I still hope you come back
Maybe not today
But someday

You never felt pain
Till your best friend hands you your heart.


The Impossibility that Hurts You

"There's a certain kind of impossibility that hurts you"

I kind of have no idea what I meant by that but I think I meant that there are some things that are impossible that have the power to cause you so much pain. One of it is the impossibility of changing the past. You ever said something so hurtful that you didn't mean but you cannot go back to 'unsay' it,  so you live with the fact that you caused a loved one pain and that in turn causes you pain? That impossibility hurts you.

It hurts you in the sense that when you see your loved ones hurting, you hurt too. For example, I am the first of the grandchildren from the maternal side of the family and sometimes I scold my younger ones to the point where they start crying and I feel so bad, I end up consoling them. Now that is just one example of several. When our loved ones hurt, we hurt too. Now imagine when you are the cause of the hurt then you hurt twice as hard.

Too often we become so free with our loved…

The Theory of Standing Out

So I have a theory ( just hear me out). I've never been an ambitious person. When I was a kid our teachers used to ask us what we wanted to become, and believe me each child wanted to be the one doctor that would cure cancer or the lawyer that would be known everywhere or become the President of the Federal Republic. My point is there were a lot of big dreams and whenever I said I wanted to become a teacher, ( after they finally saw I wasn't going to give in) everyone assumed I wanted to be like the best teacher in the world. I was like no, actually, I just wanted to be the normal ordinary teacher. And they would give me that " with your grades" look as if it was impossible to just be a teacher ( you know without the hoopla of being the best).   I wanted to be ordinary, to be just an ordinary person like anyone else. I did not care about the big dreams but I never stopped people from dreaming ( I mean someone really has to make an app for downloading food like reall…